Ah, those happy, carefree adult days. No longer! Comes now my workplace health plan and its Multiple Commandments, the first being, “Thou Shalt Behave in a Healthy, Responsible Adult Manner or We Shalt Garnish Thy Paycheck.”
I should have kept myself home from school today.
I knew the president was scheduled to deliver an address to the nation’s schoolchildren, urging them to set goals, work hard and never give up. I should have begged off the assignment, knowing the subversive effect it was going to have on me.
Several members of our newsroom are doing pushups and situps today. On purpose and voluntarily. They didn’t even do anything wrong.
I can’t quite seem to get my mind around this.
