Call me a rebel, but I took a right turn the other day without stopping.

OK, I admit it: I only did it because the sign said it was OK.

“What a reasonable thing, the right-turn-allowed-without-stopping,” I thought as I sailed through my turn. “This is a street that curves to the right. Just about everybody who takes this street makes a right turn here. You only should have to stop if you’re the oddball going left. An exception to the stop-sign rule! How very sensible.”

Next, because I was born not being able to leave well enough alone, I started wondering why the rest of the world can’t be as sensible. And naturally I went off into a happy dream about the World As it Would be if Ruled By Me:

– Every cell phone in existence would use the same charger attachment.

– The straight stretch on I-5 between Eugene and Albany would just be, “Whatever speed you feel like.”

– Bottle rockets on Independence Day? Sure. Banning them doesn’t work anyway.

– Kids would increase just one shoe and clothing size during each year, and that growth spurt would take place just before you go school shopping. No other growth allowed until next year.

– Movie theaters would issue special headphones to anyone who actually wants to hear the TV commercials before the previews. The rest of us would get to have them on “mute.”

– People who have been called for jury duty more than five times should be legally exempt from having to serve again for at least a decade.

– Putting a new, creative twist on the spelling of a baby’s name would be grounds for criminal prosecution.

– So would sale promotions for Christmas decorations before November.

Ahh. Perfection.