After hearing about it on NPR last weekend, I’ve been wishing someone from the Dictionary of Regional English would come interview me. I’ve got some answers all ready for them.

I don’t know if my answers would constitute “regional English” – after all, I may have read them, or learned them from someone not originally from the Pacific Northwest – but here they are:

… that fizzy stuff in a can with brands like Coke and Pepsi? I call it “pop,” and probably always have. As I understand it, folks down south call it “Coke” no matter what brand or flavor they’re offering.

… a really serious rainstorm? Raining cats and dogs, although I have heard the term “gullywasher.”

…  a very smart person? Probably a total brainchild, or some such.

… a very, um, not-so-smart person? My favorites are variations of “not playing with a full deck,” e.g. “a few sandwiches short of a picnic,” “a few fries short of a Happy Meal,” “not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.”

… something stinky? I don’t think I personally have one for this, but the best one I ever heard was, “That could knock a buzzard off a gut-wagon.” I’m seriously going to try to work this into a conversation sometime.

… something crazy? I’d probably say, “That’s just crazy,” unless I was trying to channel somebody hip, and then I’d say, “Man, that’s messed up.” But I’d be joking about it.

… one of those sandwiches that comes on a long bun? I call them “hoagies” or “subs,” but I’ve also heard “heroes” and “grinders.”

… a very remote place? I would tend to say “middle of nowhere,” or maybe “out in the sticks.” My friend Jessica says, “out in the toolies,” (spelling?) which I’ve always thought was very funny. Being from Shedd, which qualifies, I think she’s entitled.

… what you yell after you come in safe from playing hide-and-seek? We yelled, “Ollie, ollie, olsen free” as kids. No idea where we got it.

…  something that isn’t working right? Out of whack, fubared, toast (if completely out of whack!).

… somebody who’s mad about something – in a tizzy, shorts in a knot, ticked off, pissed.

Here are a couple I didn’t think to add last time.

What do you call those big floppy-legged bugs that sort of galumph around your walls in the summer? I always heard them referred to as skeeter-eaters, or mosquito bugs. Not mosquitoes themselves, the big things.

What do you call a very small amount of something? I’d call it a “tad,” as in, “Would you like some more dessert?” “Just a tad.” I think I get that from my Midwest-born father, who uses that term frequently. I have an aunt who says, “drop,” as in, “Move over just a drop, would you?”

Would love to hear your answers.